Sample Field Note

Subtitle: Creating a personal blog, Pseudobeliefs,

I’ve been blogging on and off for several years, but I’ve never stuck with one platform for very long. Substack is probably my longest existing blog, but I’m not sure if that counts since I haven’t published anything on there in over a year. I haven’t abandoned it. I promise. In fact, I think about what my next post will be almost every single fucking day.

It’s odd. My very first post on Substack was about my struggles with writing online because I felt like my voice was just adding pollution to the cacophony of online voices. It’s odd because I thought I’d be over it by now. That I would find my place online where I fit comfortably, where I’d be confident in sharing what I have to say, where I wouldn’t second guess every single post I publish. But no, I’m not over it. Those same fears exist. I think they actually multiplied. Is my writing worth reading? Am I wasting my readers’ attention? Why should I even bother writing when there are thousands, even perhaps millions, of others who are more qualified.

But still I write. I write because there is a tiny little flame within me that just won’t fucking die. A flame of belief that I have something unique, something worth existing out there somewhere.

Yes, I know. It’s really not that serious. Just fucking write. Or don’t write. Either way, nobody really cares. But such is the way of being human. I’m the center of my universe, and I happen to care. But oh god, I wish I didn’t care.

So why did I create this little blog? It’s my little piece of the Internet. No SEO. No algorithms. No push notifications. Of course, you probably stumbled upon this blog from my Substack, so it would be very hypocritical of me to preach anti-social media. So that’s not what I’m doing.

I realize the utility and necessity of social media if I want my writing to reach somebody. And yes, despite my worries I shared above, I do in fact want my writing to reach somebody. But I will continue to be mindful of what kind of writing I push to others. It’s my hope that this blog will exist as a space where you can find me because you wanted to find me. Not because it showed up on your newsfeed or inbox, but maybe because you saw some of my essays on Substack and were curious for more.

I don’t know if any of that made sense to you. I’m still trying to make sense of it myself.

I think this post is worth reading. A couple interesting quotes: